Small Town Folk

Published July 22, 2003

Reading time: 3 minutes.

Those of us who grew up in a small town will laugh when we read this. Those
of you who didn’t will be in disbelief… but trust me… every one of these
are true. Thanks to Anita for this one… sometimes it is nice to be reminded
of where we grow up…. not always… but sometimes.

  1. You can name everyone you graduated with.
  2. You know what 4-H is
  3. You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or
    in the middle of a dirt road. On Monday you could always tell who was
    at the party because
    of the
    scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party
    was busted, see #6.
  4. You used to “drag” main.
  5. You said the “F” word and your
    parents knew within the hour.
  6. You scheduled parties around the schedule of
    different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you
    and which ones wouldn’t.
  7. You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks
    knew how old you were (and if you were old enough they’d tell your
    parents anyhow).
  8. When you did find somebody old enough and brave enough to buy cigarettes,
    you still had to go out into the country and drive on back roads to
    smoke them.
  9. You knew which section of the ditch to find the beer your buyer dropped
    off.
  10. It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.
  11. The whole school went
    to the same party after graduation
  12. You don’t give directions by street names
    or directions by references. Turn by Nelson’s house, go 2 blocks east
    to Anderson’s, and it’s four houses
    left
    of the track field.
  13. The golf course had only 9 holes.
  14. You can’t help but date a friend’s ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.
  15. Your car stays
    filthy because of the dirt roads and you will never own a dark vehicle
    for this reason.
  16. The town next to you is considered “trashy” or “snooty”,
    but is actually just like your town.
  17. You refer anyone with a house newer then
    1980 as the “rich people”
  18. The people in the “big city” dress
    funny then you pick up the trend 2 years later.
  19. Anyone you want can be found
    at the local gas station or the town pub.
  20. You see at least one friend a week
    driving a tractor through town or one of your friends drives a grain
    truck to school occasionally.
  21. The gym teacher suggest you haul hay for the summer
    to get stronger.
  22. Directions are given using THE stop light as a reference.
    (WHAT stop light was that??????)
  23. You decide to walk somewhere for exercise
    and 5 people pull over and ask you if you want a ride somewhere.
  24. Your teachers
    call you by your older sibling’s names.
  25. Your teachers remember when they
    taught your parents.
  26. You can charge at all the local stores or write checks
    without any ID.
  27. The closest McDonalds is 45 miles away (or more).
  28. The closest mall is over an hour away.
  29. It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
  30. You’ve peed in a cornfield.
  31. Most people go by a nickname.

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