Weavin’ Me Some Web

The weekend was spent doing web work, which was how I spent a good portion of my week. One of the sites I maintain had a bunch of new material to put up, so I had to scan photos, retouch stuff, change text, and publish.

My new grade submission application went live this week, but lots of other stuff went wrong, so work has been taking up most of my time.

Simpsons was funny again tonight. It’s amazing how that show works. Some shows (and even seasons) just aren’t funny, while others just stick in your mind forever.

My favorite Simpsons quotes:

• TV: “Are you on your third beer of the evening?” Homer: “Does Whiskey count as beer?”
• Mr. Burns: “Oooh, so Mother Nature needs a favor?! Well maybe she should have thought of that when she was besetting us with droughts and floods and poison monkeys! Nature started the fight for survival, and now she wants to quit because she’s losing. Well I say, hard cheese.”
• Mr. Burns: “Compadres… it is imperative that we crush the freedom fighters by the start of the rainy season. And remember… a shiny new donkey to whomever brings me the head of Col. Montoya….. eh… heheh… and by that, I mean it’s time for the ‘worker of the week’ awards!”
• Ralph Wiggum: “Me fail English?? That’s unpossible!”
• Bart: “Alls I know is I’m getting straight A’s and that ain’t not bad!
• Lionel Hutz: “Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace ‘accidentally’ with ‘repeatedly’, and ‘dog’ with ‘son’.”
• Homer: “I am so smart, I am so smart, s-m-r-t….I mean s-m-A-r-t.”
• Abe Simpson: “I used to be With IT. But then they changed what IT was. Now what I’m with isn’t IT, and what’s IT seems scary and weird. It’ll happen to YOU.”
• Homer: “Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.”
• Homer: “And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course, and I forgot how to drive?”
• Homer: “They have the Internet on computers, now?”
• Abe Simpson: “Sex? What’s so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had sex!”
• Chief Wiggum: “What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery?
• Homer: “There… there…. shut up, boy.”

My favorite Family Guy quotes

• Death: “Hey, how old is this TV? You could probably get the DuMont Network on this thing.”

• Lois: “It’s like I always tell my kids… ‘A quitter never wins, and don’t trust Whitey'”

• Quagmire: “Hello, 911? It’s Quagmire… yeh… it’s in a window this time.”

• Stewie: “Don’t toy with me, Ernie… I’ve already dispatched with Mr. Hooper… I’ve got three armed guards stationed outside Big Bird’s nest, and as for Linda…. well I daresay it’s rather difficult for a deaf woman to hear an assassin coming!”

• Lois: “Ya know, Peter… I’m not wearing any panties..” Peter: “Don’t worry, we can throw that chair out.”

• Peter: " I don’t want your Mom to worry alright? When she worries she starts saying things like ‘I told you so’ or ‘Stop doing that I’m asleep’."

• Meg Griffin: You could kill all the girls who are prettier than me.
  Death: Well that would just leave England.
• Stewie: Yay and god said to Abraham, “you will kill your son Isaac.” and abraham said “i cant hear you, you’ll have to speak in to the microphone.” and god said “oh i’m sorry is this better, check check, jerry, jerry, pull the high end out I’m still getting some hiss back here.”
• Peter: Hey Lois, give Chris a break. I mean, no TV? So he failed a class, it’s not like he felt up his cousin in the garage that Thanksgiving when I was nineteen.
• Peter: Awkward situation eh? Well one time during sex I called Lois ‘Frank’! Your move Sherlock…
• Brian: “I LOOOOVE Chocolate… but I can’t eat it ‘cos then I’ll get FAT…. but it’s SOOOO good!"

Play this cool game.