Awful Feeling (Feeling Awful)

I don’t want to start preparing. I don’t want to think about what’s happening but it’s getting closer and it’s eating away at me. I don’t sleep well anymore and I’m constantly dealing with an upset stomach.

I called her tonight and she sounded so tired and so out of it. She didn’t even recognize me right away. We didn’t talk long because she needed her rest because the nurses keep waking her up. Her doctor said that they may be able to go ahead with the bone marrow transplant.

I’ll take my lunch and visit her tomorrow. I don’t like going there but I need to see her and she needs to see me.

I have to tell myself that she feels worse than I do. It consoles me for a bit, but this really isn’t about me, it’s about her. She’s the one dealing with it. She’s stronger than I am.

Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate it. Pray for her if you believe it will help. Maybe try it even if you don’t.